[ There's not one modicum of hesitation within Steve when he matches Quentin's gaze at speed. ]
Because I'm with you on anything.
[ Whispered, too, but ice cold in tone, not directly at Quentin, but at the notion that he wouldn't be on his side till the bitter end. Quentin. Of all people at this campfire, he's the one who deserves that the most.
It's still weird, the outburst. But to be honest, it's not entirely unexpected. Quentin always gave Steve the same vibe green skies and calm winds do in Hawkins, the calm before the storm. And now the tornado is here, but Steve isn't going to be one of those flying cows.
Especially when he knows what caused the turbulent winds in the first place, or at least thinks he does. ]
You don't think it's my fault people are here? That Nancy is here? You're looking at the reason right here, buddy! It's my fucking fault, could've stopped it all, saved Nancy, prevented Jonathan and Robin from ever looking for us, stopping the Entity from ever taking us, but I didn't. And I could've.
[ Steve has kept a mostly cool head, but it's trying its best not to pop off his body now, the frustration at himself, the situation, the entity evident in each stuttered vibration of his voice and body. ]
Quentin, do you really think the Demogorgon is the end-all-be-all of the monster I brought here? There's so much more to it all. That's like a pawn, on a fucking chessboard compared to what we're facing. The Mindflayer Quentin, that's what we're up against. The Queen. And I think the Entity is related to it. It takes over your mind, controls your body, makes you kill, makes you do things that you never thought you'd do in a goddamned million years.
Don't tell me I don't know about this shit, I'm pretty sure I'm the reason it got here. Maybe the Entity is controlling it, maybe it's controlling the Entity, I don't fucking know, but what I do know, is that we weren't able to stop whatever's happening to us all, and it's my goddamned fault.
So don't tell me I don't know, and don't tell me I'm not with you, asshole.
[ Steve's just as out of breath as Quentin, and red in the cheeks, he's with you Quentin, till the end, even though you're making it so hard right now. ]
[ Quentin emphases his words, voice cracking an shaky. He's shouting and he doesn't care that he is. They're far enough away from everyone else and everyone usually is in one trial or another, or exploring during this hour anyway. ]
I don't think it's your fault. I really don't. You can't take the blame for someone everyone else's actions or some interdimensional monster running a hive mind or the entire Russian government! I know you feel that way but you're wrong and it's not comparable so stop fucking comparing us!
[ It's at this point he shoves him, right in the chest. Not hard enough to hurt. Not on any of the wounds he just mended but it's a shove none the less. It's both hands and it's like he can knock some sense into Steve. ]
Oh fuck off! You can't take responsibility for the ENTITY! Are you fucking insane? You're actually fucking stupid if you think that. The Entity! The thing that's been here well before you have? I've been here longer than you, asshole! You're going to take credit for it time-travelling now? Oh, Steve from the 80s didn't stop Nancy from going through a portal so that's why Oni from, like, Feudal Japan, who came in after you is here - right? You can influence that? Get out of your stupid guilt hole and stop feeling sorry for yourself for something you have zero control over! It's SELFISH. You're being a selfish self-absorbed prick if you think you being here is that fucking important! Maybe your Mind Flayer and it are connected but you know what? Not your fault because they would've been long before you're even born because they're both old as hell ancient beings of darkness. Your Mind-Flayer isn't here because if it was, it would've did something already and it hasn't so cut the shit! It's cut off! Your lab isn't even around anymore! You have your one monster that might've followed you and Nancy and that's it! Nothing you did!
[ He shoves him again, a little harsher. Every word laced with pain and venom. He takes every fiber of his being to just not keep shoving him. He pushes himself up to his feet, pointing at him accusingly with a finger both hands shaking unimaginably. ]
So! Just stop! Stop telling me you're with me on this because you're clearly not and stop claiming fucking credit for your horrors and stop comparing it to me intentionally dragging a sleep-controlling rapist here, you piece of shit!
[ It's at that point he outright turns to storm off, furious, angry and definitely crying. He kicks his medkit on turn, as hard as he can, sending the box through the air and the carefully gathered contents all over the area. He's aiming to go fast, a whirlwind of emotion storming through the grounds. ]
still rusty af with steve's voice but powering through
[ He's never seen Quentin like this, hell, has anyone? All the kindness, his composure, the warmth... gone in a flash of fiery rage. And the absence is what's so unsettling to Steve, not so much the anger, he's got so much anger.
And when the nice guy gets angry, well no one likes that.
And the shove, it means business. Like, yeah, avoided his wounds and it wasn't hard enough to actually hurt him and all, but still, it hurt. Just not physically. But it also accomplishes Q's goal of getting Steve to listen, as much as he might deny not listening in the first place. ]
Dude. You fuck off.
[ But it's softer, kind of bewildered, and eschewed of the bite he had a moment ago while Quentin verbally assails him, shoves continuing too, but Steve doesn't do much to stop it other than quiet exclamations. He doesn't want to fight, but at the same time wants this to end.
Quentin's making good points, he knows that in the back of his mind, but it will never rid him of the guilt and responsibility he feels for everyone, especially the rest of the Hawkins crew being stranded within the fog. The dissipating physical pain is just being replaced with a worse emotional one, for everything.
But then he turns to leave, kicking the absolute shit out of his medkit, sending it careening into the air, just for it and everything within to land with a splatter of crashes and thuds, the sounds resonating and reverberating as harshly as Quentin's last few expletives in Steve's ears. ]
Wait, Quentin!
[ He's got no words in his head for what he wants to say, just the thought that he doesn't want Quentin to leave on that note. One so negative, he hates leaving things unresolved, it's just... just all so bullshit. All of it.
He doesn't have much hope for Quentin turning around or stopping, and his sapped strength just leaves him almost whispering: ]
[ No, nobodyās seen this. Nobody thatās come in after him, anyway. He hasnāt hit the same level. Not since he first got here and realized the full implications of the situation. That first day where he woke up from a nightmarish sleep to a trial that started him in an all too familiar basement. The loud echoing laughter that followed. Realizing on the manās person was a box that shouldnāt exist.
He had to be physically restrained by the others in that trial and dragged through an exit gate, screaming obscenities until his voice was hoarse. Luckily they never spoke of it after. And so people were none the wiser.
Thereās moments, here and there where he becomes agitated but itās never cruel. Never rage filled. Never unkind.
The edge here is a culmination of an already unstable state - build up and build up until it snaps. Picking at a wound until it bleeds. It comes from a place of pain. And the pain is worse because he cares. That someone so completely innocent of anything would think to carry a weight like that? To warp their head so hard into thinking he caused any of it? The comparison is shit. No. He likes Steve and heās not standing for that. It seemed selfishly dismissive to him at worst.
But Quentin does stop. Against the lack of Steveās hope, he does. He hears wait and stops. He doesnāt turn around but he stands there, head low and tense in every definition of the word. Staring with unfocused eyes at parts of his supplies that made it as far as he did when he kicked it. ]
What? [ It comes out with a bite and then he goes quiet, waiting for whatever it is Steve needed him to wait for. To not leave on a warpath. ]
ā¦ what? [ Again. But itās like a bomb diffusing in slow motion. He looks over a shoulder at him then runs his entire sleeve over his face and turns around. Glaring at first then a microcosm of expressions. Absolute confusion because Steve whispered and he isnāt even sure he heard him correctly at first. Then annoyance. Exasperation. He fidgets in place while heās thinking it over. Sorry?
Not cruel. Not unkind. Not harsh. Steveās guilt is naively devastatingly lacking in self-esteem. He moves like he might run but never does. Oh. ]
Youāre an idiot, Steve Harrington. [ His entire body deflates as he says it, slouching with his arms hanging. Like a cartoon character about to pass out. Like he just canāt keep the energy up to stay mad at him. The words come out in a single breath, a long sigh. Tired but weirdly fond in a way. He hiccups after he says it, from still crying- from yelling-
ā¦ He shakes his head and flips Steve off. ]
Iām telling you not to be sorry. Werenāt you listening? Cut it out.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nuclear fallout map in dbd when?
Because I'm with you on anything.
[ Whispered, too, but ice cold in tone, not directly at Quentin, but at the notion that he wouldn't be on his side till the bitter end. Quentin. Of all people at this campfire, he's the one who deserves that the most.
It's still weird, the outburst. But to be honest, it's not entirely unexpected. Quentin always gave Steve the same vibe green skies and calm winds do in Hawkins, the calm before the storm. And now the tornado is here, but Steve isn't going to be one of those flying cows.
Especially when he knows what caused the turbulent winds in the first place, or at least thinks he does. ]
You don't think it's my fault people are here? That Nancy is here? You're looking at the reason right here, buddy! It's my fucking fault, could've stopped it all, saved Nancy, prevented Jonathan and Robin from ever looking for us, stopping the Entity from ever taking us, but I didn't. And I could've.
[ Steve has kept a mostly cool head, but it's trying its best not to pop off his body now, the frustration at himself, the situation, the entity evident in each stuttered vibration of his voice and body. ]
Quentin, do you really think the Demogorgon is the end-all-be-all of the monster I brought here? There's so much more to it all. That's like a pawn, on a fucking chessboard compared to what we're facing. The Mindflayer Quentin, that's what we're up against. The Queen. And I think the Entity is related to it. It takes over your mind, controls your body, makes you kill, makes you do things that you never thought you'd do in a goddamned million years.
Don't tell me I don't know about this shit, I'm pretty sure I'm the reason it got here. Maybe the Entity is controlling it, maybe it's controlling the Entity, I don't fucking know, but what I do know, is that we weren't able to stop whatever's happening to us all, and it's my goddamned fault.
So don't tell me I don't know, and don't tell me I'm not with you, asshole.
[ Steve's just as out of breath as Quentin, and red in the cheeks, he's with you Quentin, till the end, even though you're making it so hard right now. ]
no subject
[ Quentin emphases his words, voice cracking an shaky. He's shouting and he doesn't care that he is. They're far enough away from everyone else and everyone usually is in one trial or another, or exploring during this hour anyway. ]
I don't think it's your fault. I really don't. You can't take the blame for someone everyone else's actions or some interdimensional monster running a hive mind or the entire Russian government! I know you feel that way but you're wrong and it's not comparable so stop fucking comparing us!
[ It's at this point he shoves him, right in the chest. Not hard enough to hurt. Not on any of the wounds he just mended but it's a shove none the less. It's both hands and it's like he can knock some sense into Steve. ]
Oh fuck off! You can't take responsibility for the ENTITY! Are you fucking insane? You're actually fucking stupid if you think that. The Entity! The thing that's been here well before you have? I've been here longer than you, asshole! You're going to take credit for it time-travelling now? Oh, Steve from the 80s didn't stop Nancy from going through a portal so that's why Oni from, like, Feudal Japan, who came in after you is here - right? You can influence that? Get out of your stupid guilt hole and stop feeling sorry for yourself for something you have zero control over! It's SELFISH. You're being a selfish self-absorbed prick if you think you being here is that fucking important! Maybe your Mind Flayer and it are connected but you know what? Not your fault because they would've been long before you're even born because they're both old as hell ancient beings of darkness. Your Mind-Flayer isn't here because if it was, it would've did something already and it hasn't so cut the shit! It's cut off! Your lab isn't even around anymore! You have your one monster that might've followed you and Nancy and that's it! Nothing you did!
[ He shoves him again, a little harsher. Every word laced with pain and venom. He takes every fiber of his being to just not keep shoving him. He pushes himself up to his feet, pointing at him accusingly with a finger both hands shaking unimaginably. ]
So! Just stop! Stop telling me you're with me on this because you're clearly not and stop claiming fucking credit for your horrors and stop comparing it to me intentionally dragging a sleep-controlling rapist here, you piece of shit!
[ It's at that point he outright turns to storm off, furious, angry and definitely crying. He kicks his medkit on turn, as hard as he can, sending the box through the air and the carefully gathered contents all over the area. He's aiming to go fast, a whirlwind of emotion storming through the grounds. ]
still rusty af with steve's voice but powering through
And when the nice guy gets angry, well no one likes that.
And the shove, it means business. Like, yeah, avoided his wounds and it wasn't hard enough to actually hurt him and all, but still, it hurt. Just not physically. But it also accomplishes Q's goal of getting Steve to listen, as much as he might deny not listening in the first place. ]
Dude. You fuck off.
[ But it's softer, kind of bewildered, and eschewed of the bite he had a moment ago while Quentin verbally assails him, shoves continuing too, but Steve doesn't do much to stop it other than quiet exclamations. He doesn't want to fight, but at the same time wants this to end.
Quentin's making good points, he knows that in the back of his mind, but it will never rid him of the guilt and responsibility he feels for everyone, especially the rest of the Hawkins crew being stranded within the fog. The dissipating physical pain is just being replaced with a worse emotional one, for everything.
But then he turns to leave, kicking the absolute shit out of his medkit, sending it careening into the air, just for it and everything within to land with a splatter of crashes and thuds, the sounds resonating and reverberating as harshly as Quentin's last few expletives in Steve's ears. ]
Wait, Quentin!
[ He's got no words in his head for what he wants to say, just the thought that he doesn't want Quentin to leave on that note. One so negative, he hates leaving things unresolved, it's just... just all so bullshit. All of it.
He doesn't have much hope for Quentin turning around or stopping, and his sapped strength just leaves him almost whispering: ]
I'm sorry...
i know this and I appreciate you
He had to be physically restrained by the others in that trial and dragged through an exit gate, screaming obscenities until his voice was hoarse. Luckily they never spoke of it after. And so people were none the wiser.
Thereās moments, here and there where he becomes agitated but itās never cruel. Never rage filled. Never unkind.
The edge here is a culmination of an already unstable state - build up and build up until it snaps. Picking at a wound until it bleeds. It comes from a place of pain. And the pain is worse because he cares. That someone so completely innocent of anything would think to carry a weight like that? To warp their head so hard into thinking he caused any of it? The comparison is shit. No. He likes Steve and heās not standing for that. It seemed selfishly dismissive to him at worst.
But Quentin does stop. Against the lack of Steveās hope, he does. He hears wait and stops. He doesnāt turn around but he stands there, head low and tense in every definition of the word. Staring with unfocused eyes at parts of his supplies that made it as far as he did when he kicked it. ]
What? [ It comes out with a bite and then he goes quiet, waiting for whatever it is Steve needed him to wait for. To not leave on a warpath. ]
ā¦ what? [ Again. But itās like a bomb diffusing in slow motion. He looks over a shoulder at him then runs his entire sleeve over his face and turns around. Glaring at first then a microcosm of expressions. Absolute confusion because Steve whispered and he isnāt even sure he heard him correctly at first. Then annoyance. Exasperation. He fidgets in place while heās thinking it over. Sorry?
Not cruel. Not unkind. Not harsh. Steveās guilt is naively devastatingly lacking in self-esteem. He moves like he might run but never does. Oh. ]
Youāre an idiot, Steve Harrington. [ His entire body deflates as he says it, slouching with his arms hanging. Like a cartoon character about to pass out. Like he just canāt keep the energy up to stay mad at him. The words come out in a single breath, a long sigh. Tired but weirdly fond in a way. He hiccups after he says it, from still crying- from yelling-
ā¦ He shakes his head and flips Steve off. ]
Iām telling you not to be sorry. Werenāt you listening? Cut it out.